Nights

The nights are often the worst. It doesn't matter what it is that you're feeling down about, nights are always the worst. It's just you stuck with your thoughts. They go round and round in your head, making you feel even worse.

I know that part of it is probably because I was raped in a car, at night. I know it's stupid - nothing bad is going to happen to me. I am perfectly, 100%, completely safe - except from my memories and my nightmares. And my memories always seem to creep up on me when I'm alone. I find myself going through everything that happened - the grooming, the exploitation - over and over again. Thinking 'what if...' Getting even more worked up, feeling if more down, scared and angry.

And by this point I don't want to go bed and go to sleep. Because I know if I do, I'll end up having another nightmare about him. So instead I'm stuck with trying to get rid of all my memories and try and cheer myself up. But I can't, because there's nothing around to take my mind off him, nothing that I can really concentrate on.

So I end up doing something stupid that I end up regretting, just so I can have something else to think about.

Nights are very lonely and a time to think about things too much. I do end up feeling like the only person in the world, with no one else around. So I need to reach out, know that someone understands me. That I'm not alone.

This song has definitely helped me through some really bad nights. It makes me know that I'm not alone, that someone, somewhere, knows what I'm going through.

Really sit and listen to the lyrics.



Me